Category Archives: Truth

December 6, 2012

Not Everyone Wants Help

By Jonathan

Years ago I met a guy who stumbled across our ministry while searching out help for his porn addiction. I suggested he start attending our weekly group; a place he could start digging into his brokenness and seeing how God might put him back together as a new man of integrity. He started attending, but would continually wallow in his shame. He was unreceptive to the truth about God’s grace, or even the grace extended to him by the other guys in the group. He falsely assumed his rejection of grace was a noble response because he was just too far gone to be loved or wanted. He came into the group with the appearance of wanting help, but never actually opened his heart to the truth. He eventually left the group.

The Bible shares a similar encounter that Jesus had during his ministry. It’s found in Matthew 19, starting in verse 16:

And behold, a man came up to him, saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.” He said to him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man said to him, “All these I have kept. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

This man approaches Jesus, seeking out his help on a very important question. “What good deed must I do to have eternal life?” That’s a pretty deep question. It’s not like he’s asking Jesus directions to the nearest camel-filling station. He’s asking for help on a life or death question. Unfortunately, he comes to the question with ignorance and arrogance.

His ignorance is highlighted in his understanding of eternal life. He asks what “good deed” he must do to gain eternal life, but no one can gain eternal life through works. Eternal life is a gift from God given to those who put their trust in Him. No deeds involved, just childlike faith. But his ignorance isn’t that big a deal; lots of people are ignorant when it comes to seeking out help for their problems. In fact, it’s often ignorance that drives us to seek answers. When you don’t know something (i.e. you are ignorant) you ask questions. This is good. But if that ignorance is married to arrogance, it’s unlikely you will be receptive to any help offered. This rich guy wasn’t.

I’m actually astonished at the level of arrogance this guy exhibited. But somehow Jesus didn’t flinch. The guy asks what he should do to have eternal life and Jesus tells him; keep the commandments. For clarification, the guy asks which ones, to which Jesus responds with what we’ll dub the “Big 6.” And then this rich guy has the audacity to suggest that he has kept these laws perfectly! What?! Has he lost his mind? How can he stand there and say that with a straight face? Regardless, he does and then asks, “What do I still lack?” Then Jesus carefully fires an arrow of truth that pierces this guy’s heart in a way it had never been stabbed before.

“Sell everything, give it to the poor, and come follow me.”

This is the moment of truth for the rich young man. Did he really want the truth? Was he going to receive the help Jesus offered? No. His arrogance was exposed. He went away sad, unwilling to allow the truth to change him. Instead, he was hoping he could manipulate God’s Law to fit his agenda and desires instead of him being molded by God. Jesus then used this as a teachable moment:

And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?” But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

It’s hard for someone who doesn’t really want help to hear the truth about redemption and transformation. In fact, it’s so hard that from our human perspective it can only be concluded that it is impossible. But Jesus offers hope to His disciples and to us, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

I don’t know if I’ll ever see that man from years ago in group again, but I pray for him whenever he comes to mind. I pray that the God of the impossible would melt his heart of stone and shame, and give him a new heart, one receptive to the truth of God’s grace and power to transform even the most broken sinner into a useful saint in His kingdom. It’s what God does best, the impossible!

But we must have the resolve and conviction of Jesus, to stand firm in the truth even when those seeking our help walk away. Jesus didn’t chase this man down to try and convince him to change. He instead entrusted him to the Father, that one day this man’s love of riches would wear him down enough to finally embrace the message of hope Jesus gave him on that pivotal day.

What is wearing you down? What do you need to give up in order to embrace the help God is offering to you? Is it money? Is it porn? Is it power, career, ministry? Whatever it is that you are using to resist God’s truth for change, maybe today is the day you lay it down, and instead take up your cross and follow Jesus. It’s the only way to find peace and offer help to others that is actually — helpful.

Comments Off | posted in Accountability, Ministry, Recovery, Truth

December 12, 2011

Where’s the Justice?

By Jonathan

In recent years we have seen a flurry of convictions related to sexual misconduct. Men arrested for child pornography, indecent exposure, or sexual molestation of a minor. Even women arrested for inappropriate conduct and contact with a child. Is this new behavior, a sort of new pandora’s box being opened on sexual depravity? Or has this kind of behavior been around a long while and is only now coming to the forefront of public awareness? And where is the justice in it all? Standards for prosecution and punishment seem to fluctuate with wherever the current political winds blow.

“There is nothing new under the sun.” (Ecc. 1:9)

Lust and sexual misconduct has been around for more than just the past 50 years. God even established very specific laws surrounding sexual behavior (Lev. 18 and 20). King David committed adultery and then murdered an innocent man as a result. False gods were established in various pagan cultures that encouraged sexual orgies as part of the religious ritual. Even after some of the first churches were established following Jesus’ resurrection, there was prostitution and incest still going on with some of the members. Sexual immorality has been around as long as sin.

I come to this subject from a somewhat unique position. My history of sexual addiction included crossing legal boundaries; solicitation of prostitutes. I was never charged with a crime. I now spend my life helping others trapped in sexual addiction to find hope, freedom and a new direction in life. In this ministry, I cross paths with those who are facing the legal consequences of their addictive actions. I see all sides of the issue; as one who identifies with the charged, one who knows the possibilities of change, and one who wants justice for the offended. I feel the tug in all directions.

Most people will camp out emotionally (and legally) in just one of these areas; usually the “wants justice for the offended” camp. And I get that. Some of the atrocities that I have come across over our years of ministry have truly been gut wrenching (and retching). Children as young as 6 months old being sexually abused. Twelve-year-old sex slaves in Cambodia required to “serve” 10-12 “clients” a day. Many of these children become “useless” to their owners after just a few years due to drugs and disease. They are simply tossed aside for a newer “product.” Yes, I understand the desire for justice for these precious, wounded victims.

Some will camp out exclusively in the “possibilities of change” camp. I love this camp! It’s where God does His best work, making possible something that on the surface appears impossible. It’s also a tough camp to come through. So much brokenness. So much pain. So much work to be done to unwind all the twisted thinking and false beliefs. The depravity of sinfulness is so glaringly exposed that most people would prefer to stay in the “wants justice” camp than roll up their sleeves and help those wrapped up in sexual addiction. But thank God for those willing to help.

Finally, there are those of us who would rather not be in the “identifies with the charged” camp. The guilt. The shame. Lines were crossed, hearts broken, innocence shattered, justice mocked. Are we human or barely beasts? Is there no hope for those who cross certain lines, morally or legally? Can we be changed by more legislation, harsher penalties, swifter punishment? It’s a camp no one wants to be in, yet its membership seems to keep growing.

As I am torn, part of me residing in each of these camps, I cry out, “Where’s the justice?!” Where is it for the child in Cambodia or the teenager abused by a family member? Where is it for those trying to help sexually addicted people, but receive no help from the same organizations decrying the deeds of the addict? Where is it for those who hate themselves for their sinful deeds and want nothing more than to stop their destructive behaviors? Where is the justice?

There is only one who is just: God. He is fully righteous, equitable and morally pure. He is the perfect Law-giver, the only one with the authority to establish and execute perfect justice. In Him we find the truth, what we need for clarity and direction. In our search for justice, we need only to look to the Creator of all. But in looking to God, we might not like the answers we get (or don’t get). After all, He is under no obligation to reveal reasons. This can be frustrating, but let’s not get permanently stuck on the Why? questions. Search even deeper.

Does God care about children? Yes. Is His heart broken when these precious children are horrifically abused sexually for the profit of others? Absolutely! Is God therefore unjust because their perpetrators are not immediately held accountable for their actions in every case? No. His justice is sure, even if not executed in the timing or manner we would assume proper.

Does God love sinners? Yes. Is He grieved when He sees one of His prized creations misusing their sexuality through selfish, lustful behaviors? Absolutely! Is God then unjust because that person may engage those behaviors repeatedly for many years without swift punishment for breaking God’s moral laws? No. God’s justice is based on His character and will, not on how far we fall or how often we sin.

Can God even offer hope to someone who has violated a child or abused someone sexually for profit? Yes. Does He get angry when someone acts in such deplorable ways? Absolutely! So, is He unjust when His anger doesn’t result in the complete annihilation of such a person? No. God is slow to anger, allowing the offender opportunity to repent; all the while, never compromising His perfect righteousness.

The issue of justice really boils down to God’s holiness set against our sinfulness. God would be just, even if there were no sinfulness; it’s one of His attributes as a holy God. I believe our primary struggle with justice is not whether or not it exists, but rather whether it will be executed – and when! This is where many rage at God, not content with His handling of the pedophile or rapist or pornographer or sex addict. We want swift, immediate judgment to ease our personal suffering or our shaken conscience. But maybe we’re looking to intently at comparing the offenses against our own self-righteousness and not looking closely enough at the perfection of the One we have all offended.

I see God’s justice as a beautiful thing, a hopeful attribute. He is perfect! What hope would we have if it were an imperfect “god” promising to save us if we place our trust in him? What difference would there be between trusting in a god like than and just trusting in my imperfect neighbor, or dentist? But because the true God, the Creator of heaven and earth, is perfect and just (righteous), His promises carry the full weight of true authority and certain fulfillment (even if not on our timeframe). I therefore have hope when His Word says,

The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
The LORD is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust. (Psalm 103:6-14)

And when He says, “But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus…” (Romans 3:21-24)

God’s righteousness and justice expose us for who we really are: broken sinners in need of His mercy. All sin, in any variation, is a breaking of God’s perfect law, a violation of His holiness, deserving of death. This is why Jesus died in our place. God’s execution of perfect justice against our sin was exacted on Jesus, the spotless (sinless) Lamb of God. He died the death we deserved to give us hope and the life we couldn’t earn.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing;it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Eph. 2:8-9)

The gift of God. What an unusual way to view justice: a gift. Without compromising His holiness, God made a way, through His Son Jesus, to have our penalty of sin paid in full. No cost to us. No work to earn it. Debt totally cancelled. How is such a wonderful gift received? Faith. Simply trusting Jesus as Savior, the One who appeased God’s just wrath against our sin.

Where’s the justice? It’s in Jesus. So, no matter what camp you find yourself in, may you know that God is just; He does not change. Therefore, there is hope for all who call on Him, whether an abused child, a struggling sex addict, an embittered minister, a suicidal pedophile, or self-righteous atheist. God truly provides justice for all in Jesus Christ, sharing with us His righteousness and purity. And thank God there is no law against such mercy…

Comments Off | posted in Grace, Justice, Sex Addiction, Truth

December 2, 2011

What Your Heart Really Wants

By Jonathan

In my family, the Thanksgiving holiday weekend is traditionally when we do all our Christmas decorating around the house. This year was no different, except that it is the first year to be in our new house. We have been so excited and overjoyed to finally be living in the house that we (mostly my father-in-law!) built with our own hands. We have much to be thankful for…

So, the Saturday after Thanksgiving we pull out all the Christmas decorations. I spend time outside stringing up lights on the house. Elaine unpacks all sorts of Christmas dishes and mugs to be used for spreading much holiday cheer (and waistlines!). We all gather around the tree and begin placing what seems like thousands of ornaments onto it. While the kids are gleefully hanging ornaments, I step back and quietly sit on the couch. I drink in the moment; Christmas music playing throughout the house, lights glowing on the tree, a spirit of peace and joy all around. Then I see it.

We stood the Christmas tree in our grand room, in the center of the big windows on the front of the house. I’m sitting opposite the window, watching all the hustle and bustle of the kids decorating. It looks as if they are in a picture, the window being the frame. Then I glance up. Just above the window, scrolled on the archway on the wall, is our family verse: “He does not treat us as our sins deserve.” (Psalm 103:10) As I view this beautiful scene, my heart warms and time freezes for just a moment. I say a silent prayer of thanksgiving. I am once again reminded by God that this is what my heart has always wanted.

As Norman Rockwell as that moment was, I assure you my family isn’t perfect (after all, I’m in it!). But over the past decade God has faithfully allowed these snapshots of peace, joy, love and goodness to remind me that everything I was looking for in the darkness of my sexual addiction was phony and empty. What my heart had always wanted was genuine love built on the foundation of truth. I wonder if your heart hasn’t longed for exactly the same thing.

Love doesn’t make life perfect, but it sure is fulfilling. I’m no longer empty, anxious or searching. Love brings peace to a broken heart. Love fills in all the empty, lonely places in the shadows. Love gives you a home where you belong – and are wanted! Love forgives. Love is what your heart really wants. And love is what can set you free to enjoy a life lived in the Light.

If you are struggling with secret sexual sin, let me invite you to begin the courageous journey to finding Love. The good news is that you don’t have to travel far. God is love, and He is right where you are. His strongest desire is that you know Him; that you know His love. He will then guide you into loving relationships where you can experience the healing power of His love in community. I know it’s a scary decision to uncover secrets, but whatever you’ve tried up to this point hasn’t come close to fulfilling the deepest desires of your heart. It’s worth a try.

What will you do this holiday season with your heart and its deep longings? Will you keep trying to fill it up with lust and selfishness and greed and anything else you can grab on to in the dark? Or will you ask God to fill it with His love and the love of caring Christians? May this Christmas you see snapshots of love, and may your heart rejoice at the grace God so freely pours out over your brokenness.

He does not treat us as our sins deserve…

Comments Off | posted in Love, Peace, Recovery, Truth

July 8, 2011

Think Straight to Walk Straight

By Jonathan

I meet some of the world’s greatest actors in my line of work. Actors from the United States to Australia and everywhere in between. They have played every role imaginable, from airline pilots to superheroes to real-to-life soccer moms. But as great as these actors are in their respective roles, you’ve probably never heard of any of them. That’s because they don’t play their roles on television. They are actors in their own lives. Their roles are to pretend to be someone they are not.

I find it fascinating how mesmerized our culture is with actors (the Hollywood ones). Their lives are hoisted up on this god-like pedestal, crowds of people clamoring to catch a glimpse of these individuals who have mastered the art of facade. I suppose it makes sense that so many would fawn over such artists. After all, reality doesn’t have nearly the appeal of fantasy. But just like in The Matrix, you’re never fully alive in a fantasy.

Every person who contacts our ministry for help with a sexual addiction has played an actor’s role. Every one. Sex addiction forces an individual to make a choice: be honest and deal with the monster of lust within or lie and cover up with a facade of extreme “normalness.” Most choose for years to wear the facade, some playing the part to critical acclaim. Unfortunately, the better one plays the role of liar, the longer the fall is off the perch of selfish idolatry.

But when a person decides the time has come to step off the stage, peel back the mask, and get real about their struggles with lust, then they must deal with the heart of what kept them tapping away to a deadly tune: lies.

Lies are at the center of sexual addiction thinking. Lies like “sex is my greatest need” or “it’s just porn, nobody is getting hurt” or “if God said sex was good, then more of it will be better (regardless of boundaries).” Thousands of small, subtle thoughts enter our minds, bargaining against the truth to convince us that a “little of this” or a “little of that” isn’t really harmful. Over time, the more such lies are ingested, the greater our skill of acting must become. And we start walking crooked.

The truth, however, doesn’t bargain. It doesn’t need to. It’s truth and it’s right, so it needs no defense. This is why you can only experience true peace when living by the truth. Think about it, there is constant anxiety and stress surrounding the song and dance routine of lies. You have to juggle so many deceptions, trying to remember who you told what lie to, and when. Ugh! It’s constant pressure. But there is no such pressure with the truth. When you tell the truth, that’s all you have to remember! No one can incriminate you when you’re walking in the truth. The path seems to straighten as well.

If you want to walk straight and live a life of purity, you must begin to think straight. If you’re thinking doesn’t change, neither will the direction you’re going. It will be just a matter of time before the stage beckons and you’re back to being a one-trick pony with no future. So you must get your thinking lined up with the truth. And there is only one source of truth: Jesus.

“I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

“…Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” John 8:31b-32

“My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” John 17:15-17

Straight thinking comes from God’s Word, the Bible. If you are walking crooked, putting on face after to face to cover your out of control lust, I implore you to stop the charade and feast on the truth (Matt. 5:6). Tear off the fake clothes, the fake smile, the phony reasoning, and be washed in the Word (Heb. 10:19-25). Don’t underestimate the power of God’s Word to transform a contrite heart. So, be broken, be honest, and may the tears that burst forth prime the pump for transformation, clearer vision, and straight walking…

Comments Off | posted in Lust, Sex Addiction, Truth

May 11, 2011

Will the Real You Please Stand Up?

By Jonathan

I had a guy approach me recently and say, “You are the most authentic person I have ever met inside a church.” I thanked him for his comment, respoding with a stupid remark about how that’s probably why I could never be a pastor. As I pondered that encounter, some very strange emotions welled up inside. First, I felt great encouragement from his words. It’s one of the nicest compliments I think I have ever received. As someone who lived so much of my life as a complete phony, it was affirming to know that God truly is in the business of transformation.

But opposite this emotion of encouragement, I felt a great sadness, almost as if a crushing weight was pressing in on my chest. Tears filled my eyes. I’m the most authentic person this guy has ever met inside a church? How tragic! What has gone wrong in Christ’s church that authenticity is so rare it is sought out to be applauded? My soul wept…

There seems to be  a form of Christianity in America today (and has been for some time) that appears real, but up close it isn’t. It is like a mirage to a lost or wandering soul. From a distance there seems to be life-giving water and refreshment for all who would approach seeking relief from their weary travels in life. But the closer the drifter approaches, he finds the water to instead be dry dust and dead men’s bones. It was just a mirage.

Can you imagine anyone approaching Jesus only to find that the closer they got the less he was what he appeared to be? He is the Author of authenticity! There is nothing phony about him, no pretense or slippery agendas. He IS truth (John 14:6), so there isn’t any smoke and mirrors, or trap doors you suddenly fall through when moving toward him. Yet, somewhere along the way, some of his followers got scared, or proud, or lost. The result? Facades that appear true, but are really false.

What I find ironic about this guy’s compliment of me is that it wasn’t really because of me. I’m just a guy, a broken, sinful, inconsistent child of God. It was the Truth in me that he saw and was drawn to. In fact, just minutes before I spoke with this man I was confessing a stupid, selfish thing I had done earlier that week. I was essentially shouting from the rooftops, “I am broken! There is nothing in me of any good or worthiness or purity, only weakness and indescribable need.” With the apostle Paul I agree, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24-25) The Truth in me (Jesus!) is what the world needs to see.

I don’t know why so many in the church are unwilling to be real, laying down pride and fear in favor of humility and honesty. I mean, I know it’s scary and there is a definite cost to doing so, but do they realize the immeasurable riches that are only found in magnifying Jesus? “He must increase, I must decrease” isn’t just a poetic quip to exalt our own piety. It’s a reality that opens the door to all that God made us to be: trophies of His grace, on display before a dark and dying world. But the trophy never shines if we keep pretending to be something we are not. Pride isn’t just saying “I’m better than you.” It’s also saying “I won’t admit I’m weak and broken.”

The time has come for the church (believers in Jesus) to be real. Nobody buys your baloney about having it all together, anyway. Take down the facades. Peel off the masks. What you think will kill you by being honest will actually set you free. Why? Because the Truth sets you free. And all you hide when you choose to be phony is the Truth inside. Jesus isn’t magnified from a closed heart.

Authenticity is really about highlighting the grace of God, not the works of man. Will the real you please stand up? God wants to show off His grace in you to everyone watching. Don’t deny Him this pleasure…

Comments Off | posted in Christianity, Grace, Religion, Truth

April 5, 2011

If Love Wins, Who Loses?

By Jonathan

I like Rob Bell. He is a creative, articulate speaker and writer who wears really cool glasses. He is a “rock star” of sorts among American pastors. But when it comes to the core of what the gospel is all about, I’m afraid he is dead wrong. And those who follow what he teaches regarding heaven and hell, and how one knows where they will spend their final destiny, might find themselves in for everlasting disappointment.

Rob is a universalist. He probably wouldn’t tell you that to your face, but it comes out in his teaching on the afterlife. He believes that ultimately everyone will be in heaven with God forever, some even making their “faith” decision after they have died. His argument is that God’s love is so encompassing that in the end, Love ultimately wins to the delight of everyone who has ever lived. But if love wins, doesn’t that mean something or someone must lose?

I’m pretty shocked that a guy who professes to spend so much time pouring over the Bible could come to such conclusions about eternal life and death. Jesus was pretty clear (I thought) when he said, “Whoever believes in him [the Son of God] is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.” Is that vague? Unclear? Nuanced? According to Jesus (who should know better than any of us), there is judgment of an eternal kind for those who reject God’s only way of salvation, belief in Him.

You might be thinking, “Hey, I thought you guys were a sexual purity ministry. What on earth does this quibble with Rob Bell’s theology on afterlife have to do with my struggle with purity?” A lot! What you believe matters, not only for your eternal destiny, but also for the quality and effectiveness of life you live here and now. If it doesn’t matter whether or not faith in Jesus is relevant, that skews everything about living a godly life. Who are you dependent upon? Where is the power for resisting temptation? What accountability is there for selfishness, lust, greed, or any other carnality? Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection, and your response to it, is the single most important aspect of life, now and for eternity. A life of purity, true purity according to God’s standard, cannot be lived apart from faith in Jesus. Period.

I don’t want to sound like love doesn’t matter. It is at the crux of the gospel. “For God so LOVED the world…” Love has been the engine behind God’s redemptive plan from the beginning. But why would God have to go to such extremes to “buy us back” if we weren’t under such a terrible penalty that held ramifications that extended far beyond our earthly life? If love alone affords everyone a home in heaven, regardless of their response to Jesus’ sacrifice, then why did Jesus even go to the cross? Couldn’t he have come, lived a good life teaching us all about the “love of God,” and then been beamed up after he had spread enough love? No, there was a penalty owed to God, and the only means of payment would have to come through the brutal death of the perfect Lamb of God.

Love doesn’t overlook sin, it overpowers it. But we are each still held responsible for how we respond to God’s free gift of salvation through belief in Jesus. There are no maybes. Either you trust in Jesus as your only hope of being made right with God, or you don’t. And that response makes all the difference in life. If you believe in Jesus, you are then able to fully experience the love of God, the transforming, comforting, selfless love of God. If you reject Jesus, you seal your fate to an eternal destiny of separation from the God who wanted you so badly he provided the only way to win you back; but you mocked him. I wish there were more wiggle room, but I didn’t establish the rules for a relationship with God. He reserves that right.

The importance of this issue is why we always begin the process of helping someone in sexual addiction by clearly communicating the gospel. If a person doesn’t understand the significance of the gospel, it is pointless to talk about healing or purity or abundant life. None are possible without the knowledge that one’s response to Jesus is the difference in whether a true life of purity can be pursued or not. One who has trusted Christ (at any point in their life) is capable of pursuing true purity by God’s grace. One who hasn’t trusted Christ needs to fully understand the importance of that decision, otherwise any work toward “purity” is futile since their eternal home is separate from God in hell. What’s the point of “cleaning up” if you’re going to spend eternity in hell? Therefore, the response to the gospel is the most important decision for living a life of purity.

Love does win, for those who have believed in Jesus. We are promised a home in heaven and eternal joy in the presence of God, not for our goodness, but simply by grace through Jesus’ substitutionary death. He paid the price our sins demanded, and then freely offered us his life in exchange for our simple, childlike faith in him. Unfortunately, though, there are losers in this game of life. Anyone who rejects Jesus must live with that decision forever. Life is short, and your next breath isn’t guaranteed. God wants you to win, and has made the way for that to happen. Trust in Jesus, and start living like a winner today…

4 comments | posted in Faith, Love, Purity, Religion, Truth

January 6, 2011

Be a Doer, Not Just a Hearer

By Jonathan

I haven’t met a Christian yet who struggles with sexual lust who didn’t know the sinful activities they were engaged in were sinful. They were certain of it! Knowledge of right and wrong is hardly ever the issue when it comes to sin. Yet, we seem to spend an incredible amount of time in recovery programs filling our mind with more knowledge about what is right and wrong. This doesn’t help…

Obviously, reading the Bible is not a wasted activity. But what use is it if the truth within it never makes its way to how we act? This was the entire point of James’ letter in the New Testament. His primary question to his believing brothers and sisters in Christ seemed to be, “If all you do is gorge on more knowledge of God without it affecting your behavior, how is that accomplishing any good; for you or those around you?”

James 1:22-25

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Are we blessed for knowledge, or actions based on truth? God expects that our response to His abundance of infinite grace in our lives through faith in Christ produce motion. A Christian who isn’t “doing the Word” is one who has lost sight of what God’s grace toward us is for: transformation!

Those who know me best would agree that I don’t waste time when it comes to taking action. Some of this can be chalked up to my impatience (stilled being transformed there…), but some can also be attributed to the fact that I just don’t believe knowledge is an end. Knowledge is a means. Let me explain.

If knowing is seen as an end, something by which change happens, the reality is that nothing will happen. Pumping your head fuller and fuller of information will never be the power by which you run away from temptation, or feed a hungry person, or share the good news of the gospel with the lost. Knowledge can’t act. But it can help us take proper action.

When you know the truth, your actions can align with God’s will. So, knowledge is important, but only as a means for DOING something. This was James’ frustration with the early church in his day. They were growing comfortable with just knowing more and more and…All the while, people around them were not being loved, housed, clothed, mentored.

“Faith without works is dead.”

This most famously misquoted scripture has nothing to do with a person’s salvation, of whether or not one will spend eternity in heaven with God. Our salvation is based totally upon God’s grace and our simple, childlike belief in Jesus as our only hope of being made right with God. Faith without works being “dead” doesn’t mean it is non-existent. It means such “faith” has no effect, no motion, no action. In essence, such faith is useless in God’s kingdom. Yes, unfortunate to say, but some of God’s kids are deadbeats.

James wanted his readers then, and all Christians today, to be those who know God’s grace in order that we might live out His grace. We aren’t meant to simply hoard knowledge without it having a direct effect on how we behave. God wants us to be doers of His Word, not merely hearers.

As you grow in your faith and in your pursuit of purity, be careful of seeking more knowledge when you have been unwilling to apply what you already know. If you have not been “fleeing sexual immorality” (1 Cor. 6:18) then it is useless to try to fill your mind with deeper knowledge of purity like not having “a hint of sexual immorality” (Eph. 5:3). Begin fleeing and eventually you will understand what “not even a hint” can look like.

Oh, one other thing. The most effective way I have found to be a better doer is to be part of a team of doers. There is momentum, encouragement and power in a group of believers committed to “doing the Word.” So, find some brothers or sisters, lock arms, and march toward purity. Faith in motion is a beautiful thing. And the blessings are rich for those who choose to be doers, not just hearers.

1 comment | posted in Faith, Motives, Purity, Truth

January 29, 2009

Exposing the Lies of Lust

By Jonathan

The devil isn’t creative, just persistent…

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I have come into contact with thousands of sex addicts over recent years. I myself was bound up in sexual addiction for 13 years. In all my interactions with the issue of sexual lust, I have come to realize one fundamental characteristic that is common to its nature: lies. There is never one moment in which lust tells you the truth. And it is this key insight that can actually help you break free from the chains of lust…for good.

In this brief article I want to share with you some of the primary lies that your lust will tell you. These probably won’t shock you (especially if you’ve been believing them), but my hope is that by exposing them you will become more aware of the moments in which you are drifting toward their appeals and take the corrective action to flee to the shelter of truth.

Lie #1: Lust will bring contentment

The bedrock of the lies of lust rests on the idea that God, and whatever he can offer, just isn’t enough. This is the lie that ultimately led to the original sin. When Satan tempted Eve in the garden, he planted the seed of doubt in her mind that God was actually good and all that she needed to be content. He enticed her mind to begin entertaining thoughts that God was withholding something from her that she needed. This seed of doubt traveled from her mind to her will, eventually appealing its case to her senses when she “saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye.” This captures the moment when lust was born in the heart of mankind.

This lust has burned in our sin nature from the very beginning of the fall. And the enemy has used this greatly to his advantage when it comes to sexual lust. Our sexual lust is aroused whenever it reaches the line dividing what God has said is right and pure for our minds and bodies and what sin demands in opposition. We hear the whispers of the father of lies telling us that God is restrictive in his requirements regarding our sexuality, and that the fruit of our lust will complete us and make us whole, fulfilling our truest, deepest desires. When we begin to spin these lies in our mind, it isn’t a far journey to looking and seeing that such forbidden fruit is “pleasing to the eye.”

Lust, however, only produces more discontent. Lust is perpetually dissatisfied. That is the nature of lust, constantly demanding more, promising that what is just outside your reach is what will ultimately satisfy. But each time you believe the lie, you are left craving more because you came up terribly empty. Lust never satisfies…never.

Lie #2: Lust will not hurt anyone

Harmless fun. This is what we are led to believe when we begin to listen to the lies of lust. Even as our discontent grows and the evidence mounts up that lust can’t give us what we need, we dive in deeper because we are certain that we aren’t hurting anyone. After all, what you do in the dark when no one is looking can’t possibly affect others, right? Wrong.

Pornography is the most common avenue by which this “lust-won’t-hurt-anyone” thinking derives. Millions of men (and women) each week gaze lustfully at the nude images portrayed through porn and quietly tell themselves, “I’m not hurting anyone. These are just pictures. It’s not like I’m actually having an affair or fornicating.”

Have you ever stopped for just a brief moment and given a thought about the women (or men) in the porn? That is somebody’s daughter or son. That is a REAL person being abused through the exploitation of the body God fashioned around their soul. They are made in the image of God and they are being hurt. Lust lies when it deceives you into thinking that it doesn’t hurt anyone.

Lie #3: Lust will enhance your sexual relationship

Welcome to 21st century broadcast television and the dysfunctional world of Hollywood! The sexual message espoused by the media and our culture is this: monogamous sex in marriage isn’t enough. And our flesh craves this lie of lust.

Countless couples, whether married or not, believe that bringing porn or some other sexually stimulating material into their bedroom will enhance their relationship. But the fundamentals of lust’s deception don’t change. Adding to God’s design will never cause improvement. The design God established for sex (one man with one woman in marriage) was designed perfectly. It cannot be enhanced, improved upon, or added to. Whenever we try to improve what God has already declared good, we most certainly have entered into the realm of deception and sin.

The sadness of this lie of lust is that it causes individuals to believe that sex is merely a physical act, devoid of true intimacy and attachment. But sex is more than a physical act. It is emotional, spiritual, and even a bit mysterious. God made it this way because sex was to be a picture of the depth of intimacy we could share in our relationship with him. It is deeply personal, uniquely vulnerable, and permanently bonding. To believe that sex is just bodies connecting is to miss the whole point. And that’s exactly what lust desires.

God, however, desires that we live free from the suffocating chains of our lust. He also provides the means by which we can live such a life of freedom. Jesus promised that after his resurrection and ascension into heaven that he would send a helper, his Holy Spirit, and that he would lead us into all truth. As a believer in Jesus, we have the Holy Spirit in us and therefore we have the power to live free from the lies of lust. We are even promised in Galatians 5:16 that as we “live by the Spirit… you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” As we grow in our dependence on God’s Holy Spirit to life his life through us, we are promised that lust will not dominate us.

With such a great promise given to us, we would do well to focus our attention on what it means to “live by the Spirit.” And thankfully, God doesn’t make that complicated for us. To live by the Spirit is to know Truth (i.e. Jesus) and follow him (John 8). Knowing truth comes by knowing the Word of God, the Bible, and interacting with him through prayer. Moment by moment we live connected to our Creator, through faith in Jesus, so that his life may live through us. This is living by the Spirit. And it is pure peace, comfort and joy!

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May 5, 2008

Why Are We Not Ashamed?

By Jonathan Daugherty

Is there such a thing as healthy shame? I spend a lot of time in our ministry helping people overcome the negative effects of shame, the kind of self-loathing thinking that causes a person to believe that he or she is worthless. This kind of shame eats away at the core of a person’s identity, stealing away the truth that God made man in His own image. A person can thus begin to believe that God made a mistake when He made them, and they therefore live their lives in a state of depression and despair. This is obviously unhealthy shame. But is all shame the same? Is all shame wrong or negative or unhelpful?

I would propose there is such a thing as healthy shame. The problem is that such shame is growing rarer and rarer in our world today. We are losing the very necessary emotion of feeling ashamed. And our growing numbness to this sense of shame is largely due to our lack of acknowledging the very basic laws of God. We no longer believe in absolute morality, in absolute truth. We have, in our arrogance and pride, made all things relative.

Let me illustrate this through a very simple example. God tells us in the Bible that He hates lying. It is an absolute. Lying is wrong. Yet today in our culture lying is rarely even blushed over. In fact, if you are really good at it you can even hold positions of great power. Lying has almost become a type of sport among politicians, lawyers, mechanics, and many others. The best liar “wins.” We have lost our sense of shame over lying because we have moved God’s standard to fit our own desires, our own ideas of what is right or wrong.

To be ashamed is to feel embarrassment over one’s guilt. But in order to feel such embarrassment, one must first have a sense of guilt. If the line of what is true or false keeps getting pushed to fit an individual’s personal preference, then guilt can eventually be eradicated, at least from that individual’s perspective. If guilt, a sensing that one’s behavior is not right, is eliminated, then feeling ashamed isn’t even possible. This is a dangerous place for an individual, or culture, to live.

Now let’s look at this problem through the lens of rampant sexual sin in our country. There has been an exponential increase in pornography use in the past 15 years, largely due to the advent of the Internet. Also, our national media has repeatedly pushed the envelope on what is deemed acceptable programming. Mix in with this the resistance of organizations like the American Psychological Association of acknowledging sexual addiction as an actual problem and you will arrive at the state we are in now: a sexually saturated culture that doesn’t even recognize its own depravity. Guilt is being erased from our vocabulary.

Regardless of this cultural slide, there is absolute truth. God’s standards do not waver, regardless of the times we may live in. Because of this there is hope for those trapped in the lies of their sin. We don’t have to flap around in the winds of our own morality, but rather we can plant our lives in the solid foundation of God’s law, His standard for our lives. But this hope for change actually must come through a renewed sense of guilt.

Something that comes as a bit of a shock for most people desiring to break free from sexually addictive patterns is the overwhelming sense of guilt they feel when they start learning just how far their lives have fallen short of God’s standard. But that is actually a good thing. That is the beginning of change, because it is at this point of brokenness that God can come in and transform a life. Brokenness, feeling ashamed over our guilt, is really where God’s Spirit moves in us and brings life, true life, into our existence. The truth is that we can’t live a holy life apart from being filled with the Holy Spirit. So our brokenness serves as the doorway of humility that invites the living God to take hold of our lives in such a way as to change us; from the inside out.

Do you feel ashamed or distressed over your sin? Do you even know where you are falling short? Examine your life today in light of God’s Word. Don’t be afraid to take an honest assessment of where you fall short. Bring your failings and your guilt before God in humility. When you do, God will meet you with His grace and lift your head out of the sorrow of your sin into the joy of His holiness. Let us be courageous in bringing back a healthy sense of shame over the great sins we have committed, individually and as a culture. And may God have mercy on us for so arrogantly ignoring His truth.

Grateful for absolute truth,

jonathan

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