February 2008 E-News: Sex Does NOT Equal Happiness

February 2008  |  Issue II

• NEW OFFICE!

• Gateway to Freedom Announcement

• Purity Spotlight: Sex Does Not Equal Happiness

• Resource Spotlight: The Gift of Sex

• Real Answers to Real Questions

• Pure Sex Radio Announcements

We have moved...again.  But not far, just down the hall.  Believe it or not, we had already outgrown our previous space.  We pray that the new suite of offices will help us minister more effectively by not being cramped and stacked on top of one another. 

If you are ever in San Antonio, please come by and visit.  We love visitors...

Our NEW ADDRESS is:

Be Broken Ministries
1800 NE Loop 410, Suite 401
San Antonio, TX 78217

REGISTER TODAY! 

Only 8 more spots available...

Gateway to Freedom Workshop, open to men in south Texas, is scheduled for:

• February 29 - March 2, 2008

Learn more about Gateway to Freedom at www.gatewaymen.com.

Sex Does Not Equal Happiness

by Jonathan Daugherty

Let me ask you a question that may appear to be setting up a zinger punch line for a joke, but I am actually being quite serious.  Have you gone two consecutive days in the last week without hearing or seeing an advertisement for either a male performance enhancement drug or some other sexual performance aid?  I wish there was a good joke here, but the truth is that our culture is saturated with a sexually addicted message: sex equals happiness.

I will be the first to tell you that I am a HUGE fan of sex.  I think it's wonderful and that God was especially kind toward us when He created it (yes, God created sex).  But I have a real problem with the direction our culture, and much of the world, seems to be going with this message that sex equals happiness.  If you follow this premise to its conclusion, you will arrive at the doorstep of many disappointed, angry, hurt, and lonely people.  Why?  Because if sex equals happiness then the created has replaced the Creator.  And every time we make such a substitution, heartache (not happiness) results.

Our culture has been experiencing this rapid shift toward "sex equals happiness" for over 30 years.  We have even dubbed the catalyst for this shift in popular thinking "The Sexual Revolution."  But this revolution did not bring about peace and love (maybe rock-n-roll, but that's for another article and another author).  This so-called revolution of freedom to do whatever we please with our bodies and our sexuality has instead led to some of the highest incidences of sexually transmitted diseases in recorded history, not to mention the millions of broken homes, traumatized children, and a narcissistic preoccupation with "my rights," all in the name of "free love."  Our increasing obsession with sex and our "freedom" to engage in it however we see fit has resulted in pain, confusion, and brokenness.  And yet, we are still being sold the lie that sex equals happiness.  Why?  How?

I believe there is a simple, yet fundamental, reason for the inconsistency between the lie our culture is telling us ("sex equals happiness") and the harsh reality of brokenness and heartache that faces each person who has bought such a lie.  The reason is that God has been removed from the discussion about sex.  The very One who created this beautiful gift is considered antiquated and out of touch with the topic today.  But if you remove God from any discussion on whatever He made, you are bound to end up believing a lie, even if the lie sounds good.

Honestly, I wish sex did equal happiness.  How easy would that be?  Just have as much sex as you want and thereby increase your happiness accordingly.  But God didn't set things up that way.  Not even close.  Sex was only a small part of the enjoyment, or pleasure, God wanted us to experience in this life.  And even so, it was designed only to be fully enjoyed, without regret, in the expansive boundaries of the covenant bond of marriage between one man and one woman.  God never designed sex to be an end to happiness in itself, or even a means to that end!  No, God intended happiness, true peace and joy, to be found only in Himself, not in anything He created.  Anything God made, even the wonderful mystery of sexual intimacy, is far beneath the unspeakable happiness of being in relationship with Him.

So, where does this leave us, if sex does not equal happiness?  I believe it leaves us in a place where we can find true peace.  For anyone who has spent any amount of time chasing the lie that sex equals happiness (whether through multiple partners, pornography, or other forms of lust), there is no peace, no contentment, no lasting happiness.  But when you discover that God created you to find your ultimate happiness in a relationship with Him, you are free to realign your priorities and focus.  You no longer must strive for the empty pleasures of lustful pursuits, but rather you can hunger and thirst for righteousness and purity.  You can find God.

You may be asking, but what about the married couple?  How are they to view their sexual intimacy?  In the same way.  It is only a gift.  A wonderful, enjoyable gift, but a gift nonetheless.  Even in our marriages, God doesn't intend for us to substitute sex for intimacy with Himself.  If we do, we will come up empty and dissatisfied.  But when a couple places God at the center of their union, sex can be enjoyed to its fullest, the way God intended, and they can be grateful for such a gracious gift.

Now, let us stop standing quietly on the sidelines of our culture as millions of young people are seduced with this subtle, yet destructive lie that sex equals happiness.  Instead, let your voice be heard.  Stand up and shout from the rooftops as the great Saint Augustine once said of the centrality of God to our happiness, "...Thou hast made us for Thyself and restless is our heart until it comes to rest in Thee."  Will you be a voice that brings rest to those restless souls seeking happiness in the creation rather than in the Creator?  I pray you will be...

The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment
by Clifford & Joyce Penner

Price: $12.49 plus S&H

Click here for ordering info

Real Question:

What effect can sexual addiction have on family members?

Real Answer:

• Divorce - Happens all too often when a hurt spouse finds out about their partner's indiscretions.
• Abuse - Sexual addicts can become violent, inflicting physical, emotional, or sexual abuse on their spouse or children.
• Disconnection - A sex addict will isolate themselves from those who care most about them, creating a distance in their relationship.
• Embarrassment - In-laws, extended family members, and many others must suffer the embarrassment of a sex addict's behaviors.
• Distrust - Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and once it is broken through sexual acting out it is very difficult to recover (but NOT impossible).
• Sin patterns passed on to children - Sex addicts are incapable of adequately meeting the emotional needs of their children, therefore increasing the probability that their own kids will seek similar ways of coping through sexual acting out.

(this list is only a sample of effects sexual addiction can have on family members and not intended to be considered comprehensive)

If you have been hurt in the past by a sex addict and could use some support and encouragement, please contact us.

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Do you have a real question you need answered? If so, email it to us at questions@bebroken.com.

• Support Pure Sex Radio!  Visit our homepage to support our radio outreach.  The donate button is at the top of the page.  Simply enter whatever amount you would like to give - no gift is too small! 
  (FYI - a $50 gift will air one broadcast on one station)

• We have added a 6th affiliate station that carries the Pure Sex Radio broadcast.  KKHT 100.7 FM in Houston, Texas now airs our broadcast Sunday afternoons at 4:30 pm.  Learn more about KKHT at www.kkht.com.  For a listing of all the ways to listen to Pure Sex, click here.

• Upcoming February Shows

  2nd - Wives Respond to their Husband's Secret

  9th - Responding to Gay Family & Friends

  16th - Necessary Confessions of a Sex Addict (Part 1 of 2)

  23th - Necessary Confessions of a Sex Addict (Part 2 of 2)

• Spread the Word!  If you like what we're doing, educating people about living a life of sexual purity, then contact your local Christian talk radio station and tell them about the Pure Sex Radio broadcast.  Then, email us at tellastation@puresexradio.com and give us the call letters, city, and state of the station you contacted.  We will follow up with the station manager to see about adding our program to their schedule.

Also, email and call your friends and family to tell them about our program.  Even if they don't live in an area where we are broadcast on a traditional radio station, they can listen to the broadcast online through our FREE podcast.  Learn more about our podcast at http://www.puresexradio.com/psr/radio/podcast.shtml.

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