June 2007 E-News: Pornography Myths

...

Volume V | Issue 6 | June 2007

Myth #2: Pornography is just a handful of dirty X-rated videos and naughty magazines

The porn industry is a mainstream media monster, controlling much of the television and movie programming. And pornography encompasses much more than merely nudity or sex acts. Porn can be defined as anything created with the express purpose of causing inappropriate sexual arousal. According to such a definition there isn’t much in our culture that isn’t pornography!
 

• Internet Filter Review estimates the U.S. sex industry is a $12 billion a year industry.
  
• Annual worldwide pornography sales are in excess of $57 billion. (Internet Filter Review, “Pornography Statistics 2003”)
  
• The pornography industry produces over 11,000 videos annually – 20 times more than Hollywood! (Frammolino, Ralph & P.J. Huffstutter. “The Actress, the Producer, & Their Porn Revolution.” Los Angeles Times Magazine. 1/6/2002)

Myth #3: Using pornography is not really wrong

This may sound ridiculous, but many Christians get lulled into believing such a myth. But Jesus clearly stated, “if you look on a woman lustfully, you have committed adultery with her in your heart.” (Matt. 5:28)
 

• 1 in 5 born again Christians believe that viewing magazines with nudity and sexually explicit pictures is morally acceptable. (Barna Research Group, “Morality Continue to Decay,” 11/3/2003)
  
• 36% of Christians say co-habitation is morally acceptable, and 39% define sexual fantasies as morally acceptable. (Barna Research Group, “Morality Continue to Decay,” 11/3/2003)

Myth #4: Only men battle the lure of pornography

The facts tell us that 1 out of 6 women struggle with an addiction to pornography. (Today’s Christian Woman, September/October 2003) It is also estimated that one out of every three hits on porn websites is by a woman.

Myth #5: The power of pornography can be overcome by sheer willpower

If this were true, none of us would struggle with any sin. We would simply set our will against whatever behaviors were sinful. But our flesh is more powerful than our will. It is only by the supernatural power of the life of Jesus Christ living within us that we can live a lifestyle of purity. He alone is able to overcome the power of lust in our lives!

As you progress in your pursuit of purity and possibly recovery from deep wounds in your soul, it is important to develop a skilled eye for determining what is true and what is false. A lustful lifestyle creates many beliefs founded on falsehoods. Through the process of recovery and healing you will gain a better understanding of how to replace false beliefs with the truth.

Listen to a recent Pure Sex Radio broadcast which discusses this topic of Pornography Myths. Click here to download the mp3. (large file - 27.4 MB; may take 5-10 minutes to download)

Real Answers to Real Questions

Real Question:

Let's cover a few questions this month:

1) Is it hard to have sex when you are married? I seem to get the impression that wives are always tired, or that they require their needs to be met fully before the man can expect anything from her.

2) Is it difficult for wives to view sex as a good thing?

3) Are there any biblical, or just general, guidelines on frequency of sex in marriage? It seems that men and women typically have different views on what is appropriate.

Real Answer:

1) Sex in marriage can be difficult in the sense that sex is not just a physical act. And it certainly isn't like it is portrayed in media. Sex involves a couple's emotions, bodies, minds, and spirits. It is truly a picture of "two becoming one" in more ways than just physical. One of the myths of sex in marriage is that the woman controls how much sex is had. Certainly there may be times where she is tired or cranky or whatever, but there are many times where a husband puts on the brakes for reasons of his own (stress, fatigue, etc.). Sex in marriage is an opportunity for couples to talk about their desires and learn about their spouse in an intimate way. I believe God made us so opposite (male and female) so we would have to trust Him more in order for true intimacy to be experienced in marriage.

2) God made sex. It was His idea. It wasn't something that humans came up with. So, we know that because it is God's idea that it is good - God doesn't create anything that is bad. Because we have so often taken God's good creation of sex and cheapened it outside the boundaries it was designed for (marriage) it has become something negative, even dirty, in our minds. Pornography and the sexually saturated society we live in portrays sex as something no more than a handshake or greeting. This cheap portrayal, and the many degrading depictions of porn, only solidify a shame-based orientation toward sex. Men and women both carry this shame into their marriage and struggle with the question, "How can this activity that I have come to believe is dirty and wrong somehow become pure and beautiful now that I'm married?" Some couples never reconcile this question in their marriage and their sexual relationship suffers because of it. The truth is that God made sex as a beautiful expression of committed love - an experience that really has no equal on this earth. I can share from experience that when you are growing in a committed, God-focused marriage, sexual intimacy is beyond words, both for husband and wife.

3) There aren't really any biblical guidelines or "laws" on sexual frequency in marriage, other than to not remain apart so long that the devil can claim a foothold. (1 Cor. 7:5) I usually recommend to couples that they come together at least on a weekly basis, if possible. Depending on trauma or other emotional/physical issues I think this provides a good, regular union that prevents a couple from drifting too far apart. Sex is important in marriage, and too many couples (even Christians) try to minimize it's importance, to the demise of their own relationship.

--------------------------------

Do you have a real question you need answered? If so, email it to us at questions@bebroken.com.

*****************************************
*****************************************

Featured Resource

Samson & The Pirate Monks

by Nate Larkin

Experience God's divine strength in the midst of human weakness! Exploring the biblical story of failed hero Samson, Larkin proposes a revolutionary new model for manhood where rugged individualism gives way to community; pride bows to humility; deceit succumbs to honesty; and emotional pain is overcome by healing. A radical alternative to conventional "men's groups."

more info

 E-mail this page
 Printer-friendly page