Choosing & Being Chosen

by Lee Sherry

Reproduced with permission of AffairRecovery.com

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “Would anyone choose me?” One of the most important Advent messages we can embrace this Christmas season is that God loves us—that we are chosen as His Beloved. Last week I was jarred when I read John 15:16 - “You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you."¹ I remember the evening I came to faith. I thought I chose God. Now all these years later I read, “Lee, you did not chose Me, but I chose you.” Reality check! The message of Christmas for us is really the Good News that we are chosen for the highest honor of being God’s Beloved sons and daughters.

Being chosen is a concept that reverberates deep in my soul. When someone is chosen, it is because they are valued, dearly loved and actively desired. God pursues us to be in relationship with Him, and cultivating that relationship requires us to make a response. If somebody loves us, they want to spend time with us, and whether or not a relationship develops depends on us making time to be with them. Wow! God says, “Get this, I chose you!”

To not be chosen, can subject us to the pain of not being valued, not being dearly loved, and not being actively desired. I know what it feels like to be rejected; growing up, I was subjected to severe physical and emotional abuse. I have felt deep rejection since childhood because of my family situation. And on top of that there was sexual abuse. But understanding that the God of the Universe chose me, and my wife chose me has definitively defeated those feelings. I still struggle sometimes to remember that I am truly valued, truly chosen. But I have God’s confirmation of my worth to return to as I embrace Him.

Now, as an adult, it is easier for me to identify my feelings and take them to God when I question my worth, but as a child, things were much different. Most of my parents’ attention was devoted to my two younger brothers and I frequently felt over-looked. In school, there was the usual childhood teasing, and more for various reasons. Rejection, rejection, rejection - it was painful and I internalized the message, “you are not wanted, you are not valued, and you deserve to be left behind.” Those are the enemy’s lies and it matters not one whit what others think of me. God thinks I am worthy to be His Beloved child, His Prince, if you will (His Princesses for the ladies).

Keep in mind that God is not a human king whose attention decreases the more children He has. God is a supernatural being whose love, attention, and care never runs out. Never. As I began getting to know God intimately by spending time with Him, I started to learn that we all must return to God’s opinion of us and know that the God of the Universe-The ONE all-powerful, all-knowing God Who chooses us - makes us worthy to be His. There is immense value of knowing that God’s opinion is trustworthy and worth more than any other. He has the last, definitive word on your worth, not some imperfect human. The opinions of other humans can seem powerful and authoritative, giving them ability to hurt, but their evaluation of you is worth absolutely nothing compared to God’s. Embracing what God says about you—that He chose you, gives you strength to face trials, because it affirms you are not alone. I would encourage you to cling to God’s opinion of you being His chosen because it provides confidence. When I know I have been chosen, it is an incredibly powerful motivation to not sulk in a dungeon of despair and self-contempt.

But I must admit, I didn’t come to this conclusion on my own. I had wonderful examples in my life of what it means to be chosen. My paternal grandmother was my first example of unconditional love. Her affection and faith cleared a path for me to respond to God’s pursuit. When I left home to join the Navy, I was blessed to be mentored by a godly man while I was overseas. His unconditional love gave me courage, and taught me how to be in relationship with God. I would encourage you to pray for God to give you a mentor or spiritual guide, because when times are tough we need “safe” people to teach and support us. All during my military service, and college years there were people who chose to love me through their prayers. When I graduated from college, God gave me a godly wife. I chose the girl of my dreams, a beautiful woman of faith who was my high school sweetheart. I am forever grateful she chose to respond to my pursuit, because through her life daily I see God’s unconditional love mirrored to me. I know that you may feel unloved or unworthy, but if you look around, I am confident that you will also spot people in your life who can mirror God’s love to you. Look for these people and learn from them.

It is awesome that God loves us so much He wants us to know we are His chosen. To embrace that truth is a discipline we must exercise regularly. In marriage, if I do not make time for my wife, I devalue my commitment that she is my chosen one. In my relationship with God, it is equally important that I make time for God through time spent in prayer, and time spent in the Scriptures. It is Amazing Grace that God loves us so much He tells us so as we spend time with Him. Have a Blessed Christmas! Truly as Christians we can sing “Joy to the world, the Lord has come! Let heaven and earth rejoice!"

¹The Amplified Bible. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Bible Publishers, 1965. Emphasis Author's.

Lee Sherry is a layman who understands firsthand the woundedness and brokenness of childhood emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. He has a passion for encouraging others in the journey of spiritual development toward discovering the remarkable transforming potential of God’s love as we bring our lives into the healing power of the Presence of Jesus through prayer. He lives in central Texas with his wife of thirty-two years, Carol.

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